Monday, February 09, 2009

Pastoral Landmines

In a day when church is so much about technique, bells and whistles, and the like I chose to teach at our staff retreat on Pastoral Care. Bottom line for the church is what takes place after Sunday! How are God's people treated and cared for. Are they left to fend for themselves or are there those that care for them in their times of need, which by the way, most often happen at other times than Sunday?

1 Peter 5:2-3 ...not bossily telling others what to do, but tenderly showing them the way. TMB

My teaching points:
1. Don't Lord it over them.
2. Treat them as you want to be treated.
3. Don't do anything to hurt them.
4. If you must confront, do it with tears.
5. Don't abuse them. How?
a. by yelling at them
b. by threatening them
c. by belittling and demeaning them
d. by speaking down to them
e. by criticizing them
f. by reconciling with them when you offend them
g. if they offend you, suck it up, forgive them, seek God's restoration and healing of your hurts. Don't retaliate!
6. Beware of Pastoral Landmines:
a. Talking about their children
b. Criticizing parenting skills and decisions
c. Criticizing their spouse.
d. Challenging their 'perceived' God's direction for their lives.
e. Talking openly and negatively about the church, church people, church staff, or the Pastor.
Can you add other 'landmines' to the list?


Ronni said...

Don't refuse to see change and progress in their lives and allow them to walk in their giftings and callings because of some percieved fault. Allow God's power to not only work IN them, but THROUGH them.

THAT brings maturity... not "getting it right" all the time...

George Alexander said...

One of the most common things, though subtle, is to assume, perhaps subconsciously, that what YOU think they should do or want them to do is the right thing or even the will of God, and then to encourage them in that direction. It may be well intentioned and even done with the best of motives - but the effect is manipulative.