A Pastor's Home- A Christian Home?

After the christening of his brother in church, Mark sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong.

Finally, the boy replied, "that preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."

Ouch, kids say the must comical but yet sometimes real things. As pastors we need to ask ourselves are we raising our kids in a Christian home? With the stress and tension of ministry, what is our home life like?

If anyone wants to provide leadership in the church, good! But there are preconditions: ... He must handle his own affairs well, attentive to his own children and having their respect. For if someone is unable to handle his own affairs, how can he take care of God's church? 1 Tim 3:1-5 TMB

I have endeavored over the years of ministry to provide a home for my sons that they delighted living and being in. I have considered it my first important responsibility as a man of God to lead my family well. There are things I have done well and those that I haven't. Let me list the one's I think helped the most.

1. My wife and I never ever talked church issues in front of our sons. They never knew there were any problems and we never talked about church people in front of them.

2. My day off was a day spent some with them. We had the benefit of homeschooling so we could manage our time with them. I guarded that time with them even bearing the ridicule and anger of those needing help wondering why I couldn't help them 'right now.'

3. We took a family vacation every year with them. We continue that tradition now that one of my sons has a wife and she is happy to join us. We will continue when my other son has his gift from God. BTW, I never preached on my vacation, as that was work in my sons eyes.

4. They knew they were loved as I took every opportunity to tell them so and tell them I was proud of them. That continues even to this day.

5. They were disciplined, but with love. We always held them afterward and reinforced our love for them. We never sent them away from our presence.

6. I made it a point to be at all their important activities.

7. They knew they were special and important to us. With us having them later in life and after a few miscarriages, we constantly expressed that they were God's miracle children to us.

8. When each one turned 13 years of age, I took them away for the night to a hotel, ate where they wanted to eat, and do with the evening what they wanted. After we returned to the room, with a compass and the Bible in hand, I introduced them into the world of being 'young men.' We never called them teenagers, but young men. I instructed them from Proverbs 5-7 on maintaining themselves in purity and sexually, from chapters in the Bible about having a passion for God, about respect for their parents, and to believe God for their life assignments. It was a great time with prayer, weeping, and hugging.

9. I never forced the Call of God. I did not want them to go into the ministry just because they were pastor sons. I told them not to do it unless God told them too, not their Dad. I would be pleased with whatever they did. Today they both are in the ministry working on Church staffs.

10. We had fun! We wrestled when they were young. I went out to lunch individually with them. We laughed a lot and still do.

11. I prayed with them and for them. They went to bed with their mother's and my prayers still fresh on their minds.

These are the things that we did to be attentive to our sons and gain their respect. We continue to enjoy the fruit of those important years we had with them.

Thank you Jesus for all your help. We are proud parents!