Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Rules Without Relationship = Rebellion

Westminster Larger Catechism- ‘Man's chief and highest end is to glorify God, and fully to enjoy him forever.’

Does anyone see relationship in this?

Mt 22:37-39
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' NIV

Again, is relationship being stressed here?

Every one needs relationship! That is our fabric- our makeup- an element that we can’t change about ourselves. We were born for relationship! We were created by God for relationship, first with Him and then others.

But this is where it breaks down- relationship that is. People don’t want a relationship with God so they reject Him and don’t know Him. From there we falter in our society thinking that we can have a good lasting relationship with another without having one first with God. So our societies have great and tragic relationship issues. The church does too, as well as our homes!

Ah, our homes. What happens when relationships are missing in our homes? Between spouses- divorce! Between parents and children- rebellion!

Rules without relationship equal rebellion.

We try to compensate for poor relationships with our children by making and enforcing rules. More rules, greater the disconnect and rebellion in our children.

Parents, this has to stop! You are destroying your children and causing yourself a lot of grief! You brought them into this world; why not build a relationship with them? Don’t leave them out there to fend for themselves.

To me parental abuse is the failure to develop a relationship with your child or children! And therein lays the root cause of all the heartache and rebellion. Kids are crying out for relationship but parents are not giving it. The parents may be distracted by profession, activities (television or computer *(see below)- just to mention a few major culprits), poor relationship skills themselves, and no time! You are welcome to add to this list.

There is never an adequate substitute for good parent/child relationship in the home.

We must admit our failures and rediscover the importance of relationships!

*When the kids are up and available for relational time - don't be sitting in front of the computer or TV- get away from there- be with your kids- wait for them to go to bed- and then turn back on the TV or computer!!!!

2 comments:

Steve Bowen said...

hits the nail on the head...
learning all over again that my relationship with my boys is all important... ever look back and say I wish I had?...thanks for the reminder...promt.

steve

Ronni said...

I think this is also so important to pastoral relationships, heck relationships within the body. I noticed I could never lay down a "suggestion" or rule to live by with my "kids" until I'd developed a relationship with them. I can lay a boundary or rule with someone who I don't have that relationship with, but they won't always listen... generally rebellion does occur.

I've even seen this in my own life. Rules lain down without relationship... and I rebelled. Then someone pulled me into relationship, laid the SAME rules, and I GOT IT. Something about the relationship that made the difference.

Very good. Thanks Dave!