Friday, January 19, 2007

Political Correctness For Kids

Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's "passage-restrictive."


Kids don't get in trouble anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."


You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically enhanced."

You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."

You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."

It's not called gossip anymore. It's "transmission of near-factual information."

The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."

Your homework isn't missing; it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class; you're "rationing consciousness."

You don't have smelly gym socks; you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building.

It's still tough to be a kid these days!

3 comments:

Jenn said...

oh my...you just described my 13rd old nephew!
Hope the rain has stopped :-)

Jenn said...

Would you mind if I shared this with his mother?

David said...

jenn,
Of course you can- rain stopped and it was sunny and warm yesterday.